The CRUNKY KIDS interview for Poor & Forgotten, a fanzine done by an inmate residing in a Massachusetts prison:

Poor & Forgotten: Well then, who the f*ck are you folks, what the f*ck do you play & what type of work are you a slave to?

Thuggy Bearbomb: Currently, I play sh*t guitar and yell, Wedge plays drums, Sharkey plays lead guitar, Annoying Christy yelps like a kicked dog and Esqueletor plays bass, I guess this could change any minute. We all do sh*t work, factory, landscaping, except A.C., she baby-sits retards and keeps them from biting their tongues off and fornicating with each other.

P & F: Being a part of the "Ohio Skull Crushers Union", what part of the state do you crush skulls in?

TB: Painesville-city, baby...

Sharkey: Representin'...

TB: ...It's about 30 miles east of Cleveland and 90 minutes west of Erie, PA.. Near Lake Erie and sh*t...

P & F: There are like a million members of a million bands in The Crunky Kids, any you care to name?

TB: No, ...I write all the songs and the lyrics, Wedge is the drummer, that's basically the core of it. So many people come and go. Since everyone has tons of other sh*t going on, other bands, family sh*t, it's hard for them to make a commitment. Sharkey's moving back to Philly, so we'll be losing him soon. It's a f*cking shame...

P & F: Come to think of it, what exactly is a "Crunky Kid"?

TB: It's a Japanese candy, I got a kick out of the name and the stuff actually taste good!

P & F: Pick your poison...

Wedge: Any cheap-ass beer I can purchase for less than $4 a case...

Sharkey: I drank 10 beers the other night at this bar and accidentally drank some cough syrup, I almost blacked out and was rolling around on the floor groping at girls asses...

TB: Did they kick you out?

S: No.

TB: I can't believe it, you get kicked out of everywhere...

S: I know...

TB: I like a good beer and cider, can't drink cheep beer...instant f*cking headache is the sh*t Wedge drinks. I am partial to rum and chocolate milk though.

P & F: How is the scene in Ohio, by the way?

All: SH*T!

P & F: I've noticed Cleveland area bands have this fascination with Japanese hardcore, any particular reason why?

TB: That's Wedge's doing, all of the bands that he was in, or we were in, or any combination of Wedge and our close friends. Those are the bands you're referring to, 9 Shocks Terror, H-100's, Gag Reflex, Gordon Solie Motherf_ckers, Cider, The Inmates, Bombbuilder. There's like less than 10 guys that make up a dozen bands, that's why the scene's sh*t, too few good players...anyway, we all know Japanese hardcore rules.

P & F: Yeah, so uhh... where's the beef?

Annoying Christy: That's f*cking stupid...

TB: Is that some reference to Wedge's veganism...

W: That sh*t ain't funny!

TB: ...or some prison slang that I am not familiar with?

P & F: Are there any plots devised for future records, tours, annihilation?

TB: The next Crunky Kids release will either be the split 7" with Chainsaw from Japan on Hibachi Records or the full length we're recording right now for Schizophrenic Records. Some compilation tracks should be coming soon, but f*ck if I can remember by whom, oh yeah, the "Destroy All" comp. on Shifty Records and a comp. out of Spain on Building Records to name two. A don't foresee a tour, I hate traveling and Wedge doesn't have a lot of leeway at work. When we play, it has to be on the weekend and within a 7-hour drive. We're f*cked that way... Although, Wedge, Sharkey and I are also in Bombbuilder and we drove out to Chicago to play with Selfish from Finland, that was cool, those guys know their Japanese hardcore.

P & F: Know any good jokes?

W: A hamburger walks into a bar...

TB: No, stop that sh*t Wedge, your jokes suck.

W: Ah, come on...what?

TB: I only know one joke, it goes something like this:

A guy with a wooden eyeball goes to the dance and no one he asks to dance will dance with him, eventually everyone at the dance has a partner but him, and this girl with a harelip on the other side of the room. So finally, he breaks down, walks over to the harelip girl and asks her to dance, to which she replies excitedly "Would I, would I..."! Shocked, the guy with the wooden eyeball immediately points at her and yells "Harelip, harelip"!!!

P & F: What's the lowdown on contact info?

TB: You can reach us through our record label: Hibachi Records, just get online and type Hibachi Records or The Crunky Kids into a Yahoo or MSN search engine and you'll get there.

P & F: Last words before execution?

W: Hey, what are you in jail for?

TB: To quote my favorite anti-social, alcoholic felons, Poison Idea, "I bet when you wuz in jail you wuz a punk"!